When I was younger I didn't like to talk about my feelings because I wasn't confident, (and always cared about what people thought of me), so I wrote them down. These were not private thoughts in a book, but private thoughts that were expressed publicly. I wrote negative things about other people for the whole world to see because I was upset and I was lonely and wanted someone to hear me. What a selfish and stupid thing I did? I am not going to be cliche and say "I was young and stupid", when I was young and just needed someone to talk and vent to. I was sick and tired of being pushed to the back to make way for people who seem like they were more important than me. Maybe it was because I played the nice card and let people walk all over me. I was nice to people so I didn't offend, nice so people could like me and not bee-atch about me. Some people just annoyed me so much that I wrote horrible things about them and it's not right. I wanted to be heard, I wanted to have a voice and be heard for all the wrong reasons and I am sorry to all the people who read them. They had to see me at school the next day and ask me if I was okay, even if they were laughing at me behind my back.
Now I'm much older and I have found my voice, (no matter how quiet I speak), and I can use that voice to speak positive and encouraging things into peoples lives. I also honestly believe that God has turned something I used negatively into something positive.
XOXO
Mazzie
P.S. Writing rubbish about people is not meant for the internet because it will always come back to bite you. No matter how much you don't like that person it is not meant for the whole world to see, it's your problem to sort out.
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